Good at heart??

Her lips quivered, her eyes moistened, her hands trembled. She was drenched in rain and cold wind made her shiver. Her bosom was exposed as she tried to satiate the infant inher arms. Both of them so frail that bones threatened to rupture the thin layer of skin that covered them. The infant's lips were dry and chapped. They had made a small home at the end of the railway platform. The home consisted of a rug on which she sat, an alluminium pot with a muddy liquid inside it, a tattered cloth bag and a plastic plate with some coins.

I tried to avoid looking in that direction. If I did not see her I would feel less guilty of doing nothing to alleviate her suffering. What could I have done? I asked. Yes, even though I was single, I was earning enough to feed a family of four. I lived in a spacious two bedroom flat in an upmarket suburb and I spent more money in one weekend than what that poor woman might have seen in an year. But there were certainly millions like her. I could not help everyone. That was my argument. I purposefully ignored the fact that I could not help everyone, I could have helped her, somehow. But looking in the other way was easy. Not that anyone was asking questions but there is a word in English dictionary called conscience. And we sometimes need to think of excuses to pacify the little bugger. Well anyways, what could I have done?

She looked old, but if you looked into her eyes you could tell that she was not more than twenty six. Though I looked away, she continued to be on my mind. I wondered what was her story? Was she born in poverty and was living through it? Had her husband run away or died? Or was she an unmarried mother? Did her lover betray her? Was she a girl from a wealthy family who had run away and come to this city to become an actress, got into bad company and ended up pregnant and impoverished? Why did I think so much? I tried to fill my mind with other thoughts. The train was late today, boss had been rude to me and there was a cricket match I had to catch on TV. Who could win today?

The infant started to cry. Many heads turned, mine too, first in her direction and then away. Some did not turn away. Some looked on in pity. Some looked on in lust. There were men who found that display of cruelty and misfortune attractive as they watched her exposed bosom. Her eyes showed that she was not unaware of their lusty gaze, but she had resigned to it. She had to feed her baby who was crying for milk. I could not stop myself from looking at her again and again. Not because of her exposed bosom, I found the heroines on the TV more attractive. But something inside me kept telling me I could help her.  Could I give her money? I had enough to spare some for her. Maybe enough for her to get a dwelling in a slum. Definitely I could  give her enough money to buy herself a decent meal and maybe a blanket to cover herself. But my hand did not move towards my wallet.

Well I could have helped her in other ways. I was a busy man, a young banker who worked late hours and studied part time management course. Yet I did find time to party with my friends, shop with my girlfriend, go to cricket matches and movies and have an occaional barbeque. Maybe I could spend some time for her. I could take her to some NGO who worked with destitute women, they could find a women's home for her and take her out of her misery.

It started to rain, water poured incessantly at her end of the platform. People shifted in their seats where water leaked from the roof of the platform. Not a soul stirred to help her as she tried desperately to shield her baby from cold water. I looked at her again and looked away again. Maybe I could help her find her family and take her back to them. Maybe she was abandoned by her family and I could reason with them and convince them to take her back. Maybe I could make a difference to just one poor lady if not millions of poor. And it would be an inconvinience but would hardly make a dent in my cosy life. I shuffled my feet in indecision.

In my mind I walked over to her, touched her hand and covered her with my jacket. I saw myself lift her to her feet and help her walk along with me as we came out of railway station and got into a taxi. I decided I would buy something for her to eat on the way. Then we would go to an NGO whose building I had passed many times. I imagined an old woman running the show there. The old woman thanked me profusely for doing a good deed. The poor woman looked at me with gratitude as tears welled up in her eyes. I shifted in my seat awkwardly, ready to get up and act out what I had seen in my mind. I shuffled my feet in indecision.

There was a loud sound as train entered the station. Everyone sprung to action and started running towards the train. There was a rush to get into the train, I joined it. Call it practice or call it instinct. I ducked, I pushed, I heaved and I got into the train. I watched the poor woman again as the train left the station. Rain was still pouring. But I thought I saw tears in her eyes as rain water drenched her face. The baby suckled hungrily, unaware of the cruel world around it. And I was unaware of who I really was.



Sometimes just being good at heart does not matter if that goodness does not translate into action.

I think of you...

As sunlight gently kisses my eyelids,
And morning breeze lifts my blankets,
I think of you.

As warm water streams over my skin,
And freshly washed clothes caress it,
I think of you.

My hot morning cup of coffee,
2eggs, bacon and a toast,
I think of you

I may be in a intense meeting,
Or maybe solving a problem or two,
I think of you.

My lunch, salad, soup or chicken,
Or maybe I didn't get time for lunch,
I still think of you.

Work, more work and even more work,
Discussions, arguments or working alone,
I think of you.

An hour of gym after work,
Running on treadmill or lifting weights,
I think of you.

Television time or video game,
Maybe an early dinner,
I still think of you.

Sometimes some unfinished work,
Or time for music and some reading,
I think of you.

Every waking moment of the day,
I think of you, And as I close my eyes at night,
I dream of you.

True Nature of Competetion

Competition is generally a word with negative connotations. Most of us hate competition. Be it in professional sphere or in personal life. The word has a wide range of association though it usually mans the same in most circumstances. We have corporate competition between brands and companies for market share and consumer loyalty on one end of the spectrum while on other end we also have siblings competing for attention from the parents. We face competition in our school days when we try to outrank each other and gain access to the best colleges and courses and we also face competition in love when the one we love is desired by others in his/her circle too. Sometimes the competition stays as healthy rivalry inspiring and pushing us to work harder and bring out the best in ourselves and sometimes it turns ugly and obsessive bringing out our deepest demons. Whatever may be the nature of it, the truth is we cannot escape competition in our life.

To understand the true nature of competition we must understand the most basic form of competition. Then we begin to understand that competition is not a phenomenon, it is actually the rule of existence. It is how the best amongst all alternatives is allowed to progress while the less deserving is inhibited. This may see discriminatory but it works for the greater good. And while each individual does or should work towards self satisfaction, the rules which apply to everyone always work towards the greater good. This is how the balance between individuals and the society is maintained.

So the most basic form of competition is evolution or more precisely put, Darwinian evolution. Without going deeper into Darwin's theory let us consider one example. Lets go back a few thousand years or more. There are two groups of chameleons which are competing to stay alive on this earth. One is a normal group of chameleons and the other group has a genetic disorder which causes it to change color and get the color of the thing it is in contact with. Now eagles like to prey on chameleons so both the families hope that its a member of the other family that the eagle catches. So they are competing to stay hidden. Now the chameleons with the genetic disorder might seem to have an unfair advantage. However due to this advantage they stay hidden better an their normal counterparts who are eaten in larger numbers and their numbers begin to dwindle. Now they must mingle with the abnormal chameleons to mate and produce children who inherit the disorder. Soon the disorder becomes the ne normal and now it is expected that every chameleon should be able to change color. This has wiped out the erstwhile normal chameleons but it has helped the chameleon population on the whole. Now eagles find it difficult o catch chameleons and maybe mice have become their preferred prey. So the chameleon population multiplies faster and depletes slower.

Now this is basic principle of Darwinian theory of evolution, more popularly known as survival of the fittest. Now one may ask what does it have to do with competition. In absence of competition to stay alive, the chameleons with disorder would have felt obliged to expose themselves and get sacrificed if the then normal chameleons reduced in number faster. Thus in a bid to be fair to their counterparts they would have done a great disservice to the future generations of chameleons. But by acting selfishly, competing for survival and staying hidden when there counterparts were being eaten, the chameleons ensured that their race became stronger and better suited for survival.

Now that was a type of competition which benefits the entire race including the competing parties. Now although competition is based on the principle of self advancement, can the competition as a whole be altruistic? As in benefiting others rather than the competing parties themselves. Yes, it can be. We all know that monopoly is bad. A monopolistic manufacturer can demand any price for his products an in absence of an acceptable alternative, the consumers would have to bear the burden of the cost. However in case of competing manufacturers, considering all things equal between the products, the manufacturers have no choice but to decrease their margins and lower the prices. This benefits the consumers who now get the same products at lower cost.

(To Be Continued......)

Missing You

Its your voice that wakes me up,
Its your face that brightens my day,
Is your scent that opens my mind,
Its your eyes that show me the way.

My ears won't listen if its not your sound,
My eyes are longing to meet your eyes,
Worried is my heart, restless is my mind,
I stare across the sea, I look at the skies.

Be it a cloud that has passed you overhead,
Be it rain that drenched your ground,
Be it a gentle breeze that touched your face,
To tell me that you are safe and sound.